Ong May Ling celebrates Hari Raya with her Singaporean Malay husband Faizal (left), and son Rashad

The Muslim celebration of Eid, or Hari Raya Aidilfitri, is one of the year’s highlights for Ong May Ling. The Chinese preschool teacher married her Malay husband Faizal Bakar 16 years ago, and celebrating the festival has deepened her respect for tradition.

“The emphasis on the family unit is very strong,” says the 44-year-old Singapore Permanent Resident. “Lots of people I know plan trips overseas to take advantage of the public holiday, but many Muslim families look forward to being around at Hari Raya to meet relatives and catch up with one another.”

Accepting a new culture

May Ling’s mother-in-law Fatimah Jalaluddin lives with her and Faizal, and as Madam Fatimah, 76, is the oldest among her siblings, it means the extended family congregates at their flat in Pasir Ris for Hari Raya.

It was a bit of a culture shock for May Ling when she celebrated the festival for the first time.

“It was like being thrown into the deep end of the pool then,” says May Ling. “There’s a lot of preparation involved, like getting the food ready and shopping for new clothes, as well as the fasting before the festival itself, and the prayers.”

Faizal, who is Singaporean, patiently explained the various traditions associated with the festival throughout May Ling’s initial experience. “I couldn’t expect her to adopt all the customs straight away,” says the senior circulation executive for news daily Today. “But even though she didn’t grow up in an Islamic household, she picked things up fast.”

May Ling embraced the customs that come with the occasion for the lessons they teach. “For example, when children visit, they will greet the adults in the household, starting with the oldest, and ask for forgiveness for their past wrongdoings,” she says. “The same goes for the adults and their older relatives. It’s a humbling experience for everyone, and teaches the importance of respecting elders.”

Part of the family

Born and raised in the town of Muar in Johor, Malaysia, May Ling was no stranger to Hari Raya festivities, having visited friends’ homes during the festival every year. But it was certainly different being part of a Muslim family.

“During Hari Raya, presentation is important. All food is served using the best plates and cutlery; you’ll never see plastic forks and spoons or paper plates in use. I take a lot more time and care when I’m serving guests now,” she says.

Staples at their home during the festive season include lontong(steamed rice cakes), beef rendang (a spicy gravy), and chicken curry. However, it is Faizal’s mother who takes charge of preparing these favourites.

“The kitchen is her domain, so I wouldn’t want to get in her way," May Ling says with a laugh.

"My mother-in-law starts cooking at 6am, and I join in later to help with the preparation and serving of the dishes."

May Ling and Faizal's son Rashad, 14, says, "I always look forward to Hari Raya because I get to see my relatives and catch up and play with my cousins."

"I think I'm quite lucky because my family also celebrates Chinese New Year. Two holidays mean twice the fun!" says the School of the Arts Theatre Studies student.

* This article was written by Gene Khor and first published in Singapore Magazine (Jul-Sep 2011 issue).