Established in 2004 as Singapore’s first lunch dating agency, Lunch Actually helps busy working single professionals to meet suitable partners. It is founded by Violet Lim (right), whose personal blog about matchmaking was awarded Most Insightful Blog at the Singapore Blog Awards recently. Lim is also the first Singaporean to be certified Matchmaker by the Matchmaking Institute in New York City.

Singapore Kopitiam (SK): You were once holding a stable job in a financial institution, so what got you started in the business of matchmaking?

Violet: If I were to tell you that my childhood dream is to be a matchmaker, I am lying to you. :) Like every other Asian daughter out there, I was brought up to study hard, go to a good school, get good grades, go to a good university and get a good job! I read Law at University of Manchester and I have a Masters degree from London School of Economics and subsequently landed myself a cushy job as a Management Associate at a financial institution.

Truth is, I would not have left my job for just any business. But when the idea of lunch dating came along (it is a dating concept that has been popular in UK, US and Australia but nobody brought the concept to Asia or Singapore), it totally resonated with me as I have always been active in community service work. I liked the fact that it is not just a business, but a business that helps people. Hence I got really excited about it, shared the idea with my then boyfriend now husband, and that's how we got started!

SK: How does Lunch ACTUALLY differentiate itself from the numerous other dating agencies in Singapore? Also, why lunch dating?

Violet: When Lunch Actually first started in April 2004, there wasn't a dating agency like it. Lunch Actually is the first modern dating agency in Singapore, and as a result, we have the first mover advantage when it comes to branding and mind share.

We are very clear about our positioning. We steered clear from words such as love, dating, romance or cupid as we wanted to differentiate ourselves from the traditional matchmakers. We also chose not to use the colour red as we felt that it was too obvious and cliché. Our corporate colour is purple (and incidentally my name is Violet). We also invested on interesting and creative visuals when we started our marketing efforts. And we advertised in places where nobody would thought a dating agency would advertise then i.e. bus stop ads and in MRT stations.

As for why lunch dating? We feel that lunch is short, sweet and simple. Long enough for you to get to know the person, but short enough for it not to be awkward. And if things work out, you can always schedule to have dinner together!

SK: Could you describe the typical member of Lunch ACTUALLY?

Violet: In terms of age group, our female members are in their early 20s to their mid/late 30s and our male members are in their late 20s to their 40s. 80 percent of our members are graduate holders and above. And as for profession, our members come from a wide range of professions ranging from doctors, lawyers, CEOs, educators, accountants, bankers, engineers, IT professionals and others.

SK: Why do you think people join dating agencies?

Violet: People join dating agencies for a myriad of reasons. I have categorized them into 4 different categories:

a) The Busy CEO - These are the people who spend more time on airplanes than their own cars. They would not want to join dating events as they do not want to risk bumping into their subordinate and that can get rather awkward, and neither would they want to go for online dating for the same reason. Privacy and discretion is very important to them.

b) The Busy Professional - These are the people who are obviously well-educated and doing well in their career. Unfortunately, they are also married to their career. They hardly see the sun as they are already in the office before sunrise and would not leave until after sunset. They are extremely busy and would prefer to outsource their social calendar to professionals like us to screen and find them a suitable match.

c) The Busy Executive - They might not be as busy as the first two categories but they are busy enough. They also do not have the opportunity to meet the right people at their workplace as they might be in a gender specific industry such as teaching, IT or engineering. Their friends have tried introducing matches to them but after a while, their friends have exhausted their list of potentials. Dating agencies are another platform for them to widen their social circle.

d) The Busy Expat - These are single expats who are new to the city. They would like to widen their social circle and potentially meet the right one, but prefer to take a more serious approach rather than just hit the pub.

SK: What do you think are your biggest problems faced in setting up and operating Lunch ACTUALLY?

Violet: I think one of the biggest challenges is working around the stigma attached to the dating industry. In the last six years, I have seen a major improvement and a shift in perception towards dating services, but the stigma is still very much intact. Many of the couples that we have matched up would not tell others how they actually met, because they are worried that people might think that they are so desperate as to use a dating service.

Hence, our challenge now is to educate the public that it's perfectly fine and normal to use a dating service. In countries such as US, UK and Australia, it is starting to be really common for people to share that they actually met their spouse through online dating or through a dating service.

SK: What are the common reservations single eligible professionals have about joining a dating agency?

Violet: There is still a stigma attached to dating agencies. Many people still have the misconception that only the single, desperate and ugly would join a dating service. But actually that's not true. Many eligible and attractive singles join dating services because they are too busy or just have not had the opportunity to meet the right one within their social or work circle. Many a times, the reservation is really the worry of what others would think if they find out. If singles are able to get over that mental barrier, they will realise that dating services is merely another platform to help them enlarge their social circle!

I encourage all singles out there to take a more proactive approach to dating. They need not join a dating agency, but at least take the first step to step out of their comfort zone and meet more friends.

SK: The idea of marriage has been changing with time. What’s your take on marriage?

Violet: I believe that marriage is still relevant in today's society. To me, marriage is not just about love but it is about commitment. Many people misunderstand the wedding being the 'destination', but the wedding is just the beginning. Marriage is a partnership between two people. And like any other partnerships, there will be ups and downs, peaks and valleys. However, when you are committed, you will always place your marriage above everything else, and you would always make it work. I am a strong believer and advocate of marriage.